i can't disguise (the look in your eyes)
by AtLoLevad
Summary: Ziva has regrets about their journey to be together. Tony only has one. Mushy fluff, I promise


_A/N: It's been a minute since I wrote these two. This idea's been rolling around in my head since CBS aired The Promo during the SuperBowl. It's not perfect, but I wanted to get it posted before The Show That Shall Not Be Named plays with our emotions again tonight. _

_Let me know what you think :)_

* * *

The warm, heavy weight of Tony's arm resting on her hip made Ziva smile sleepily. His embrace made her feel safer and more secure than she had in years and frankly, she could watch him sleep for the rest of her life.

It wasn't just that he was - blessedly - quiet. It was the peacefulness that graced his features, the way the lines on his forehead and around his eyes softened. He was - he looked happy.

"Stop starin' at me," Tony mumbled grumpily. "Gonna make me self-conscious."

Ziva snorted a soft laugh. "You have never been self-conscious a day in your life," she replied.

Tony's grip on her hip tightened and he pulled her a little closer. He blinked lazily at her and raised an eyebrow, "Not true, Zee-vah."

He grinned as she smiled at him, opening her mouth to tease him. He didn't let her though and closed the distance between them to kiss her softly on the lips. It was the most chaste kiss they had shared in their short time together, but somehow it felt like more. Ziva leaned into the kiss, her eyes still shut when Tony pulled back.

"I will not be silenced by kisses all the time, Tony," she warned lightly. Her eyes twinkled brightly. He stared down at her, eyes tracing her features. He couldn't get enough of her, it seemed.

Bringing his hand up, Tony traced Ziva's cheekbone with the backs of his knuckles. His touch was soft and Ziva shivered a little. They were both fully clothed - a consequence of staying in a hotel room where their three-year-old was sleeping on a cot just a few feet away - but the intensity of Tony's gaze and intimacy of his gentle touch made her feel more exposed than if they had been naked.

Tony's thumb brushed against her lower lip and he leaned in to kiss her again. Ziva's hand brushed against his side as she deepened the kiss.

"What was that for?" she murmured against his lips when they broke apart.

"'Cause I can," Tony said honestly, his face open and feelings laid bare. He smiled gently, "I can finally kiss you whenever I want." There was a slightly giddy edge to his tone, replacing the frustration and anger and sadness and hurt that had been present the first few days after they had reunited in Paris. Ziva loved the giddiness and the goofy grin.

Still, a knot of guilt sat heavily in her stomach. She flashed him a brief smile that faded quickly.

"Whatsa matter?" Tony asked, sliding his hand into her hair and twisting a loose curl around his index finger. The casual intimacy and ease in his gestures only made Ziva feel worse.

"I have so many regrets, Tony," she sighed. Tony's hand paused in her hair and his forehead creased in concern.

"Not -" he started, but Ziva shook her head fiercely, effectively cutting him off.

"No, no," she repeated. "Not us, not this. Just...all the years and the pain, the lies."

Their journey to each other had been so much and so long. Filled with so much pain and tragedy, she couldn't help but regret many of the events that had happened in the years they had known each other.

"We hurt each other so much, Tony," Ziva's eyes were wide and Tony untangled his hand from her hair and reached down to grasp Ziva's.

"Listen to me," he said seriously, catching her eye. "My only regret here is not telling you I loved you sooner."

Ziva shook her head. "But, everything that we did. Israel - "

"Only showed me how much I love you," Tony grinned. "Ziva, lets face it, neither one of us were ready for this back then. But when I was ready, I should've said it unequivocally. I do not regret any thing in our past because it's us. It's messy, it's dumb, yeah, it was painful. But it's us and from now on, it's gonna be us, partners in crime."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Whattaya say? Ready for the full DiNozzo romance experience?"

Ziva bit her lip gently and nodded. She laughed a little under her breath and said, "That was very eloquent, Tony."

Her - what was Tony, really? Boyfriend felt too inconsequential. Lover didn't feel serious enough. Baby daddy was just silly. He was Tony - the man who knew all of her secrets and flaws and loved her anyway.

"I'm good with words when it matters, Ziva," he said softly, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. He nuzzled his nose against her neck and she could feel him smile against her skin.

She opened her mouth to reply, but Tali's little voice cut her off.

"Ima! Abba! Kisses!" she screeched from her cot, sitting up and grinning in their direction. Tony pulled away and laughed loudly, smile lines deepening.

He winked at Ziva, "Ready to tag-team the munchkin?"

"With you?" Ziva shot back, a broad smile forming on her own lips. "Always."

And with that, Tony hopped out of bed and swooped Tali into his arms, lifting her above his head for a minute before gently dropping her onto the bed. Ziva sat back and watched as Tony tickled their daughter, her laughter mingling with theirs.


End file.
